God Made Our Hearts Too Small
I was driving around late one night just to clear my head. I was thinking about my past Sunday’s worship experience. It was the most intense feeling of God’s presence I’d ever had. I felt Him physically. It rocked me and brought me to a new level of hunger for the Lord. I wanted more of Him. On that night drive, God put some stuff before me and said, “You have to deal with this.” My reaction was basically that blasé yeah-yeah-I-know kind of response, but then God stuck it to me hard. He said, “You cannot have more of me, unless you let this stuff go.” It’s frustrating and humiliating to come back to God time after time with the same mistakes. We pick ourselves up from the ground and try to clean off our knees as best as possible, but we soon find ourselves back in the dirt wondering, “What on earth is wrong with me?” We reason with ourselves and ease our guilt saying, “It’s just the flesh.” Satan is just as aware as we are about Paul’s reference to the flesh. It might also be one of his greatest lies, convincing us that our spirit was really willing and that we’ll just have to do better next time. Yes, it’s true that we will still make mistakes. Yes, it’s true that our flesh can take us down some harrowing paths, but our logical brains tell us there’s only so many times we can use the same excuse for the same mistake without there being a greater reason for our failure.
Believing too heavily that our flesh is our problem is the kind of deceit that keeps us from becoming more intimate with God. “Lord, I want more of you!” It’s something probably every Christian has said in their relationship with Him. It’s exactly that desire that ought to be ever burning in our hearts, but it’s always overshadowed when our heart is simultaneously beating to the drum of another song.
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” Matt 6:24
There’s no way around it, the greek words actually mean love and hate. There is no secondary meaning here. Christ is saying, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” You see, God made our hearts too small.
Our hearts are too small for both our desires and God’s. It’s too small for our self-pity and God’s grace. It’s too small for our weakness and God’s strength. It’s too small for our perception of happiness and God’s real joy. It’s just too stinkin’ small!
God purposefully created us so that our hearts couldn’t love more than one Lord. We either love ourselves, or we love God. There is no in between. Our actions are the manifestation of who really claims our heart. Are you giving in to your whims and then calling foul when guilt hits, or are you acting in surrender, having given your tiny heart to God? You could continue to live performing feng shui on your heart to try to fit God in with your personal stuff, but He simply is not going to take your relationship to any higher level. Instead, He’ll continue asking you to move your junk out of the way. All it takes to move that stuff is letting God move it with His grace and trusting He’ll do it! Pretty cool that God is willing to move in and take care of the packing and moving costs.
Giving over our small hearts isn’t a one-time deal either. It’s something that might happen weekly, daily, or even hourly! God doesn’t claim, “no backsies.” For some crazy reason He allows us the choice to grab our hearts back out of His hands whenever we want. That’s where the real challenge comes in, having to do this every moment of our lives, constantly giving our small heart over to God.
God is so big, and our hearts are so small. Can you imagine what it would look like if we actually gave God our whole heart for Him to fill? I’m trying to refrain from a Tommy Boy reference here! Our little hearts would be bursting at the seams! And that’s what God wants to do! He wants to give you more of Him. He wants to fill you with His Spirit so much that His presence leaks out onto others you commune with. He wants to perform miracles in you and through you. He wants you to experience Him radically, but He can’t when your very small heart is already filled with crap.
Do your actions and attitudes really line up with what you tell God you want? What is really holding your heart ransom? Is it really this uncontrollable flesh? Or is it simply you?
After working for 2 1/2 years in Puno, Peru as a 40/40 Church Planter, Trevor felt God was calling him to stay in the Extreme family. He now uses his gifts of communication and creativity as a Marketing Coordinator with Extreme Nazarene in Columbus, Ohio.